Boy or girl?
More and more people want to know the baby’s gender—and they want to know as soon as possible! A fun ultrasound at 15 weeks, or maybe we’ll be able to tell during the first-trimester ultrasound?
But what if the baby’s gender turns out to be a huge disappointment? It’s a taboo subject to talk about. When asked, “Do you prefer a boy or a girl?” the answer is usually “no.” “As long as the baby is healthy,” “We should just be happy we’re having a baby,” and so on. All true, but there are still quite a few people who feel disappointed. And this disappointment brings a lot of guilt—guilt toward the baby, but also toward those around you.
If you’re reading this, many of you will have an opinion on this. It’s also difficult. But you should know that the fathers and mothers really don’t want to feel this way either, and they find it just as upsetting and painful! They’re so happy that a baby is on the way! And they find it a terrible feeling because they, too, have people in their lives who can’t have children. But they have to let go of their deepest wish for a specific gender. This feeling can run deep and cause even more sadness because of the guilt they feel about it.
In many cases, the disappointment subsides during pregnancy or after childbirth, but sometimes it lingers. This is difficult—because of the taboo, because of feelings of guilt, and because parents feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it.
Tips for anyone who is disappointed with their child's gender:
- Talk about it—with those around you and with us!
- Professional help may sometimes be necessary
- Let's break the taboo! Talking about it can help others, too!
Tips for people close to someone who is disappointed with the baby's gender:
- Talk about it
- Please be understanding
- Get help finding professional assistance if you think you need it.
- Keep in mind that the fathers and mothers really find it very annoying, too!
We hope this will help break the taboo just a little bit and make things a little easier for all the fathers and mothers who find themselves in this situation. Because, once again… They don’t want to feel this way at all!
